As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in software Engineer
and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity.
When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true. Here at last
I was in the place where I wanted to be. I decided I would be staying in
this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough
money to settle down in India.
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only
asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do some
thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time
passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using
cheap international phone cards.
Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos
and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the
Rupee value went down. Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents
that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within
these 10 days.
I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant an was
actually enjoying shopping for gifts for all my relatives and friends back
home.
If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent
home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time
was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told
me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I
will not get anymore holidays soon and they cannot wait for long.
After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money
to my pare! nts and telling the neighbors to look after them, we (I was
lucky and managed to get the visa of my wife early) returned to USA.
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started
feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a
week sometimes 3 times a week as she also has to call her parents. Our
savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have
kids.Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty.
Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that
they can see their grand-children. Every year I decide to go to India. But
part work, part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and
visiting Indiawas a distant dream.Then suddenly one day I got a message
that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any
holidays and was stuck up in the procedures
and thus could not go to India. The next message I got was my parents were
passed away and as there was no one to do the last rites the society
members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents passed
away without seeing their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my
wife's joy we returned to India to settle down.I started to look for a
suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property
prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA. My
wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in
India. My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I
would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my
son was happy living in USA. I decided! that enough is enough and
wound-up every thing and returned to India. I had just enough money to buy
a decent Two-be droom flat in a well! -developed locality. Now I am 60
years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit
to the nearby place of worship. My faithful wife has also left me and
gone to the holy abode.
Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying
in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same, nothing more. I
lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned
cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing
their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my
children asking I am alright.
Well at least they remember me. Now perhaps after I die it will be the
neighbors again who will be performing my last rites, God Bless them.
But the question still remains 'was all this worth it? '
I am still searching for an answer................
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Take a PASSION, make it Happen
In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling and his son Washington were inspired to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with Long Island. However bridge-building experts throughout the world thought it was just not possible.
The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling and crippled Washington no longer able to walk, talk or even move. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.
He touched his wife’s arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.
For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife’s arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today, the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man’s passion to excel.
The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling and crippled Washington no longer able to walk, talk or even move. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.
He touched his wife’s arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.
For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife’s arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today, the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man’s passion to excel.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
39 TIPS
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a DVD, tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to........today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. GOD heals almost everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.
Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
'I am thankful for........ Today I accomplished..........'
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a DVD, tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to........today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did last year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. GOD heals almost everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.
Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
'I am thankful for........ Today I accomplished..........'
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Building Blocks for Deep Friendship
The passages below are taken from Charles Stanley's book, "Walking Wisely," published in 2002. Deep, constant, godly friendships don't just “Happen." They are built. There are eight essential building blocks required.
1. TIME
You must be willing to spend time with your friends. I must admit, I probably have lost some friends through the years because I have said, "I don't have time," when they invited me to go places or share experiences with them. The more honest truth is I didn't choose to make the time. We all tend to make time for the things we want to do. We must also make time for the relationships we desire to have.
When we don't have time for our friends, we likely aren't valuing our friends as we should. We also must be aware that we have only so much time in life, and we likely have only the necessary time for a handful of genuine deep friendships. That does not mean we can't have more casual friendships---but for a truly deep friendship to develop, time together is a vital ingredient.
2. TALK
A second building block to a good relationship is talk. Conversation is the way you discover more about a person-it is a window through which to peer into another person's heart, mind, soul and spirit. The more you converse with a person and see inside that person, the more you know about the person. And the more you know about a person, the more you love him or her, or perhaps, the more you realize that your friendship is likely to be short-lived. Through the years I've heard countless wives say about their husbands, "I just wish he'd talk to me." The fact is, these wives wanted to know their husbands better. They wanted to know what their husbands were thinking and feeling. When a man doesn't talk to his wife, he puts up a barrier to her understanding him. Husband, take time to talk to your wife. You may not feel a need to talk, but she needs to hear you talk!
When you are with a friend, the topic of your conversation doesn't really matter. I meet regularly on Saturday mornings to have breakfast with three of my buddies. We go to the same restaurant every Saturday. In fact, the restaurant personnel are so accustomed to our coming that they set aside a certain table just for us. These three men are in professions different from mine, but we have many common interests. What do we discuss? Anything and everything. We talk about whatever pops into our minds. Our conversation is free-flowing, easy, and natural. No subject is off-limits; no topic is too trivial or too big. We are open with one another. We are friends.
3. SHARED TEARS AND LAUGHTER
Genuine friends cry together and laugh together. If a person is a genuine friend, you should have no hesitation whatsoever in going to that person when you are hurt, rejected, or disappointed . . . or when you have a triumphant moment! Those who stuff all their emotions, sorrow and joy, do damage to their physical health. We all need the "release" of tears and laughter in order to vent our emotions.
4. EXPRESSED THANKFULNESS
A friend voices thanksgiving for his or her friends. Not too long ago, one of my friends showed up just when I needed someone to talk to about a situation I was facing. I said to him, "You have an uncanny way of showing up just when I need a listening ear and feel the need to pour out my heart. I'm thankful for you in my life. I'm thankful for the direction and wise counsel you give me!" And I am. I have a photographer friend who calls me about once a week. I'm never quite sure where he'll be when he calls--one of his recent calls was from Paris. I can always count on his saying two things to me at some point in the call: "I'm grateful to God for our friendship" and "I love you, brother." To have a friend who will openly and frequently make those two statements is a wonderful thing! If you haven't told a friend lately that you are grateful to God for his presence in your life . . . or if you haven't said, "I love you," to a friend. . . I encourage you to do so.
5. THOUGHTFUL GESTURES
Sometimes the best way to show your appreciation for a friend is to do something for your friend or give something to your friend. The deed or item need not be grandiose or extravagant. Rather, something that conveys the message, "I'm thinking of you. I listen to you. I know what you like--yes, even what you need." A friend takes joy in giving something that he knows his friend desires.
One of my friends is a tremendous giver. He is always sending me something that he thinks I'll enjoy--since he travels a lot and we have a number of common interests, his gifts are always meaningful to me and sometimes rather unusual. As much as I have protested about his gifts to me, he continues to send them. One day he said to ! me, "I'm just a giver. It's what I do. You can't ever out give me, so don't even try. I get a lot of joy out of giving. Don't rob me of that joy by telling me not to give."
Husband, does your wife like flowers? Surprise her with a bundle of flowers now and then. Giving her something that you know she likes is a way of saying, "I'm glad you're in my life." Similarly, wife, give your husband something every now and then that is a special surprise, which says, "I am glad you're with me."
A woman told me recently what a friend had done for her. This woman had received word that a family of five was on its way to spend a week at her home while they enrolled their daughter in a nearby college. She had shared news of their impending visit with her friend. The next day, that friend showed up with a large casserole and the comment, "I made extra. I thought you might be able to use this." This woman said, "Now that's a friend! She knew exactly what would bless me most on that particular day."
6. TOLERANCE
Friends tolerate the occasional bad mood, the hurtful comment said in haste, or the bad attitude that's the result of being too tired or too stressed out. Sometimes tolerance means putting up with an annoying habit. Sometimes it means cutting that person some slack when he's fifteen minutes late . . . again. Not long ago, I sat and listened to a friend of mine tell a story I've heard so many times I could tell it in detail myself. This man knew I'd heard the story. Everybody else at the table had heard it. But we all listened as if we were listening for the first time. He's our friend.
7. TOUCHING
There's power in appropriate touching between friends. A genuine friend should be someone you feel you can hug, someone you can pat on the back. A while back, I was eating alone in a restaurant, and I noticed that a certain man in the restaurant was giving his waitress a very hard time about something. Rather than respond in a negative manner, she reached out and touched him lightly on the shoulder and said, "I'm sorry . . ." She didn't have to say anything more. The instant she touched him, he melted—his countenance changed and so did the tone of his voice.
Most people are hungry to be touched. It's a sign to them of care, empathy, concern, appreciation, and value. If a person comes to me after a church service and tells me that he's heart broken--perhaps his wife has abandoned their family, he has been left alone with their children, and love, he doesn't know where to turn or what to do--this man doesn't want me to keep my distance and say coldly, "Well, I know God will help you." No. He wants a pastor who will reach out and hug him or put his arm around him and look him in the eye and say, "I hurt for you. I'm going to pray for you and believe for God's best in your life. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you." I am certainly not advocating that you hug every person in sight or that you are overly affectionate with casual acquaintances. You must be sensitive to what another person needs and desires--you should touch another person only in a way you know is comfortable for that person. A friend, however, should be someone that you don't think twice about touching when you desire to express pure, nonsexual affection, comfort, or appreciation.
8. TRANSPARENCY
Transparency means not holding deceitful motives, hiding your feelings, or harboring a secret agenda in your dealings with another person. If you are going to develop a genuine friendship with another person, you are going to have to let that person see the real you.
THE SUM IS LOVE
All of these building blocks add up to one simple four-letter word: love. A person you love is a person you spend time with, talk to, cry with and laugh with, are thankful for, do thoughtful things for, tolerate without complaining, touch ! with aff ection, are transparent with, speak the truth to, and trust. The cardinal principle for having a deep, close, > godly friend is to be such a friend. (176-182)
What Damage the Relationship?
The foremost way to damage any relationship is simply to undo or tear down
one or more of the building blocks identified above.
Relationships are impaired or harmed when:
You stop spending time together.
You stop talking to each other.
You become reluctant to share your sorrows and your joys.
You stop crying together and laughing together.
You no longer express your thanks or do thoughtful things for each other.
You become increasingly critical of each other--less and less tolerant of each other's errors, less appreciative of each other's efforts, less accepting of each other's weaknesses. you stop touching each other with warmth and tender affection.
You build a wall and no longer share your life freely with each other—one or both of you hold things back and conceal your motives, feelings and thoughts. One or both of you lie to each other--not only about what you are doing, but what you are thinking and feeling with regard to your relationship.
You stop trusting each other. (192-193)
The 8 T of being a good friend:
I must make the TIME to
TALK to each other and to be
THANKFUL that we share our joy and
TEARS with one another. I must be
THOUGHTFUL to him and be
TOLERANT of his occasional bad mood and be
TRANSPARENT in my dealings with him.
Above all, we must not be afraid to
TOUCH each other, emotionally, mentally and physically but not sensually.
1. TIME
You must be willing to spend time with your friends. I must admit, I probably have lost some friends through the years because I have said, "I don't have time," when they invited me to go places or share experiences with them. The more honest truth is I didn't choose to make the time. We all tend to make time for the things we want to do. We must also make time for the relationships we desire to have.
When we don't have time for our friends, we likely aren't valuing our friends as we should. We also must be aware that we have only so much time in life, and we likely have only the necessary time for a handful of genuine deep friendships. That does not mean we can't have more casual friendships---but for a truly deep friendship to develop, time together is a vital ingredient.
2. TALK
A second building block to a good relationship is talk. Conversation is the way you discover more about a person-it is a window through which to peer into another person's heart, mind, soul and spirit. The more you converse with a person and see inside that person, the more you know about the person. And the more you know about a person, the more you love him or her, or perhaps, the more you realize that your friendship is likely to be short-lived. Through the years I've heard countless wives say about their husbands, "I just wish he'd talk to me." The fact is, these wives wanted to know their husbands better. They wanted to know what their husbands were thinking and feeling. When a man doesn't talk to his wife, he puts up a barrier to her understanding him. Husband, take time to talk to your wife. You may not feel a need to talk, but she needs to hear you talk!
When you are with a friend, the topic of your conversation doesn't really matter. I meet regularly on Saturday mornings to have breakfast with three of my buddies. We go to the same restaurant every Saturday. In fact, the restaurant personnel are so accustomed to our coming that they set aside a certain table just for us. These three men are in professions different from mine, but we have many common interests. What do we discuss? Anything and everything. We talk about whatever pops into our minds. Our conversation is free-flowing, easy, and natural. No subject is off-limits; no topic is too trivial or too big. We are open with one another. We are friends.
3. SHARED TEARS AND LAUGHTER
Genuine friends cry together and laugh together. If a person is a genuine friend, you should have no hesitation whatsoever in going to that person when you are hurt, rejected, or disappointed . . . or when you have a triumphant moment! Those who stuff all their emotions, sorrow and joy, do damage to their physical health. We all need the "release" of tears and laughter in order to vent our emotions.
4. EXPRESSED THANKFULNESS
A friend voices thanksgiving for his or her friends. Not too long ago, one of my friends showed up just when I needed someone to talk to about a situation I was facing. I said to him, "You have an uncanny way of showing up just when I need a listening ear and feel the need to pour out my heart. I'm thankful for you in my life. I'm thankful for the direction and wise counsel you give me!" And I am. I have a photographer friend who calls me about once a week. I'm never quite sure where he'll be when he calls--one of his recent calls was from Paris. I can always count on his saying two things to me at some point in the call: "I'm grateful to God for our friendship" and "I love you, brother." To have a friend who will openly and frequently make those two statements is a wonderful thing! If you haven't told a friend lately that you are grateful to God for his presence in your life . . . or if you haven't said, "I love you," to a friend. . . I encourage you to do so.
5. THOUGHTFUL GESTURES
Sometimes the best way to show your appreciation for a friend is to do something for your friend or give something to your friend. The deed or item need not be grandiose or extravagant. Rather, something that conveys the message, "I'm thinking of you. I listen to you. I know what you like--yes, even what you need." A friend takes joy in giving something that he knows his friend desires.
One of my friends is a tremendous giver. He is always sending me something that he thinks I'll enjoy--since he travels a lot and we have a number of common interests, his gifts are always meaningful to me and sometimes rather unusual. As much as I have protested about his gifts to me, he continues to send them. One day he said to ! me, "I'm just a giver. It's what I do. You can't ever out give me, so don't even try. I get a lot of joy out of giving. Don't rob me of that joy by telling me not to give."
Husband, does your wife like flowers? Surprise her with a bundle of flowers now and then. Giving her something that you know she likes is a way of saying, "I'm glad you're in my life." Similarly, wife, give your husband something every now and then that is a special surprise, which says, "I am glad you're with me."
A woman told me recently what a friend had done for her. This woman had received word that a family of five was on its way to spend a week at her home while they enrolled their daughter in a nearby college. She had shared news of their impending visit with her friend. The next day, that friend showed up with a large casserole and the comment, "I made extra. I thought you might be able to use this." This woman said, "Now that's a friend! She knew exactly what would bless me most on that particular day."
6. TOLERANCE
Friends tolerate the occasional bad mood, the hurtful comment said in haste, or the bad attitude that's the result of being too tired or too stressed out. Sometimes tolerance means putting up with an annoying habit. Sometimes it means cutting that person some slack when he's fifteen minutes late . . . again. Not long ago, I sat and listened to a friend of mine tell a story I've heard so many times I could tell it in detail myself. This man knew I'd heard the story. Everybody else at the table had heard it. But we all listened as if we were listening for the first time. He's our friend.
7. TOUCHING
There's power in appropriate touching between friends. A genuine friend should be someone you feel you can hug, someone you can pat on the back. A while back, I was eating alone in a restaurant, and I noticed that a certain man in the restaurant was giving his waitress a very hard time about something. Rather than respond in a negative manner, she reached out and touched him lightly on the shoulder and said, "I'm sorry . . ." She didn't have to say anything more. The instant she touched him, he melted—his countenance changed and so did the tone of his voice.
Most people are hungry to be touched. It's a sign to them of care, empathy, concern, appreciation, and value. If a person comes to me after a church service and tells me that he's heart broken--perhaps his wife has abandoned their family, he has been left alone with their children, and love, he doesn't know where to turn or what to do--this man doesn't want me to keep my distance and say coldly, "Well, I know God will help you." No. He wants a pastor who will reach out and hug him or put his arm around him and look him in the eye and say, "I hurt for you. I'm going to pray for you and believe for God's best in your life. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you." I am certainly not advocating that you hug every person in sight or that you are overly affectionate with casual acquaintances. You must be sensitive to what another person needs and desires--you should touch another person only in a way you know is comfortable for that person. A friend, however, should be someone that you don't think twice about touching when you desire to express pure, nonsexual affection, comfort, or appreciation.
8. TRANSPARENCY
Transparency means not holding deceitful motives, hiding your feelings, or harboring a secret agenda in your dealings with another person. If you are going to develop a genuine friendship with another person, you are going to have to let that person see the real you.
THE SUM IS LOVE
All of these building blocks add up to one simple four-letter word: love. A person you love is a person you spend time with, talk to, cry with and laugh with, are thankful for, do thoughtful things for, tolerate without complaining, touch ! with aff ection, are transparent with, speak the truth to, and trust. The cardinal principle for having a deep, close, > godly friend is to be such a friend. (176-182)
What Damage the Relationship?
The foremost way to damage any relationship is simply to undo or tear down
one or more of the building blocks identified above.
Relationships are impaired or harmed when:
You stop spending time together.
You stop talking to each other.
You become reluctant to share your sorrows and your joys.
You stop crying together and laughing together.
You no longer express your thanks or do thoughtful things for each other.
You become increasingly critical of each other--less and less tolerant of each other's errors, less appreciative of each other's efforts, less accepting of each other's weaknesses. you stop touching each other with warmth and tender affection.
You build a wall and no longer share your life freely with each other—one or both of you hold things back and conceal your motives, feelings and thoughts. One or both of you lie to each other--not only about what you are doing, but what you are thinking and feeling with regard to your relationship.
You stop trusting each other. (192-193)
The 8 T of being a good friend:
I must make the TIME to
TALK to each other and to be
THANKFUL that we share our joy and
TEARS with one another. I must be
THOUGHTFUL to him and be
TOLERANT of his occasional bad mood and be
TRANSPARENT in my dealings with him.
Above all, we must not be afraid to
TOUCH each other, emotionally, mentally and physically but not sensually.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Love Touch and inspire others...
My wife called, 'How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?'
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter Sindu looked frightened. Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front
Of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age. She has just turned eight. She
Particularly detested Curd Rice. My mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe firmly in the 'cooling effects' of Curd Rice! I cleared my
Throat, and picked up the bowl. 'Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this Curd Rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear.
Sindu softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. 'OK, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of
This. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'....... ....Oh sure,
Darling'.... 'Promise? '........ .......... 'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal.
'Ask Mom also to give a similar promise', my daughter insisted. My wife put her hand on Sindu's, muttering 'Promise'.
Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindu dear, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that
Kind of money right now. OK?' No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity.
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child eats something that she detested.
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her......... .....'Dad, I want
To have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand. 'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her head shaved
Off? Impossible!' 'Never in our family!' had my mother rasped Shee has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally
Spoiled with these TV programs!' Sindu darling, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'
'No, Dad. I do not want anything else', Sindu said with finality. 'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I
Tried to plead with her. 'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask For. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harish Chandra, and its moral that we should honor Our promises no matter what?'
It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.' 'Are you out your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.
'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honor her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned
Around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please
Wait for me!' What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.
'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued,' that boy who is
Walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from... ... leukemia.' She paused to muffle her sobs. Harish could not
Attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. 'Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that
She will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!
Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'
I stood transfixed. And then, I wept. 'My little Angel, you are teaching me how self-less real love is!'
*The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love...*
Love Touch and inspire others
"The life is short, the vanities of world are transient but they alone
Live who live for others; the rest are more dead than alive
I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter Sindu looked frightened. Tears were welling up in her eyes. In front
Of her was a bowl filled to its brim with Curd Rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age. She has just turned eight. She
Particularly detested Curd Rice. My mother and my wife are orthodox, and believe firmly in the 'cooling effects' of Curd Rice! I cleared my
Throat, and picked up the bowl. 'Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this Curd Rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear.
Sindu softened a bit, and wiped her tears with the back of her hands. 'OK, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of
This. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'....... ....Oh sure,
Darling'.... 'Promise? '........ .......... 'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal.
'Ask Mom also to give a similar promise', my daughter insisted. My wife put her hand on Sindu's, muttering 'Promise'.
Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindu dear, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that
Kind of money right now. OK?' No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity.
I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child eats something that she detested.
After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her......... .....'Dad, I want
To have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand. 'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her head shaved
Off? Impossible!' 'Never in our family!' had my mother rasped Shee has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally
Spoiled with these TV programs!' Sindu darling, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'
'No, Dad. I do not want anything else', Sindu said with finality. 'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I
Tried to plead with her. 'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask For. Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harish Chandra, and its moral that we should honor Our promises no matter what?'
It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.' 'Are you out your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.
'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honor her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'
With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned
Around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please
Wait for me!' What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.
'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued,' that boy who is
Walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from... ... leukemia.' She paused to muffle her sobs. Harish could not
Attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. 'Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that
She will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!
Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'
I stood transfixed. And then, I wept. 'My little Angel, you are teaching me how self-less real love is!'
*The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love...*
Love Touch and inspire others
"The life is short, the vanities of world are transient but they alone
Live who live for others; the rest are more dead than alive
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Who is hindering ur growth?
One day all the employees of an organization reached their office and they saw a big notice on the door on which it was written: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym".
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: "Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!"
One by one, the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it, they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU. You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself".
Examine yourself. Watch yourself. Do not be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses. Be a winner; build yourself and your reality. The world is like a mirror: it gives back to anyone the reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed.
Moral: Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes or when your company changes. Your life changes only when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs and when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: "Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!"
One by one, the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it, they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU. You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself".
Examine yourself. Watch yourself. Do not be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses. Be a winner; build yourself and your reality. The world is like a mirror: it gives back to anyone the reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed.
Moral: Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes or when your company changes. Your life changes only when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs and when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
The 99 Club
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This
fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while A lowly servant had so much joy.
The King asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?". The servant replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club". "The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!"
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted,
he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold
coin and complete his collection. From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his
advisor's help, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially
joined The 99 Club."
He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be
happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for
that extra 1 telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will
be happy for life."
MORAL -We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're
given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our
happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs
and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This
fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while A lowly servant had so much joy.
The King asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?". The servant replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club". "The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!"
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted,
he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold
coin and complete his collection. From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his
advisor's help, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially
joined The 99 Club."
He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be
happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for
that extra 1 telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will
be happy for life."
MORAL -We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're
given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our
happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs
and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
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